Sexual Abuse Survivors In Recovery Anonymous

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Aftereffects Checklist for Sexual Abuse Survivors In Recovery

When you are a survivor of any form of sexual abuse, whether it is incest, date rape, or prostitution, there are many aftereffects. These may manifest in your life in any combination of ways. Think of these behaviors as a constellation of symptoms that until now you might not have been aware of. Eventually, these symptoms create a full-blown syndrome, or disease. This is most commonly referred to: Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).

We believe that some, if not all of these behaviors served to distract you from your pain regarding the sexual abuse. Together we will work to uncover, discover, and discard the symptoms that no longer serve or empower us.

And remember, your recovery journey is just that—YOURS! Recovery is a path, it is a journey, and not a destination.

After you check off the aftereffectsthat pertain to you, go back and create an inventory of each item. Write about how each symptom has affected your life.

1. Problems with setting boundaries around who you are___
2. It is difficult for you to know what you are feeling___
3. No belief in one’s own basic human rights; as if we have grown so accustomed to abuse that it seems normal to us___
4. Difficulty in claiming our own Voice, our God-given right to protect and defend our own best interests___
5. Issues with space such as feeling suddenly claustrophobic, or nervous when someone gets too close___
6. Easily startled, or flinching when someone attempts to touch or move towards us___
Taking dangerous high-risks without concern for consequences___
7. Fear of losing control__
8. If you were not abused as badly as others, you may experience “survivor guilt"___
9. You at times feel guilty for pleasurable emotions such as happiness, as if you somehow do not deserve it___
10. Desire to change one’s name (to disassociate from the perpetrator or to take control through self-labeling)___
11. Stealing (adults); stealing and starting fires (children)___
12. Fear of being along in the dark, of sleeping alone, nightmares, night terrors, especially of pursuit, threat, entrapment___
13. Swallowing and gagging sensitivity___
14. Alienation from the body. Not athome in body___
15. A feeling that our bodies do not belong to us so we do not listen to body signals___
16. A failure to take care of our health and/or personal hygiene (lack of self-care)___
17. Poor body image ____
18. Wearing a lot of clothing to avoid sexual attention___
19. Eating disorders, (excessive over-eating, or dieting, anorexia, bulimia)___
20. Drug or alcohol abuse
21. Compulsive shopping and debting; inability to spend or save money appropriately___
22. Sex and love addictions
23. Obsessive/compulsive behaviors that serve to medicate our personal pain ___
24. Self-destructiveness; self-mutilation or self-abuse (banging head against wall)____
25. Phobias___
26. Need to be invisible; perfect, or perfectly bad___
27. Multiple personality disorder___
28. Suicidal thoughts, attempts, obsession
29. Passive suicide (no real will to live)___
30. Depression (sometimes paralyzing)___
31. Difficulty with recognizing, owning or expressing anger___
32. Rageaholism (constant uncontrolled anger)___
33. Splitting (depersonalization) going into shock, shutdown in crisis, numbing___
34. Feeling watched___
35. Trust issues: inability to trust, or trusting indiscriminately___
36. High risk taking, or inability to take risks___
37. Boundary issues; control, power, fear of losing control___
38. Guilt, shame, low self-esteem, feeling worthless­___
39. Blocking out some period of early years (especially 1-12) or a specific person or place__
40. Feeling of carrying an awful secret. Both a desire to tell this secret, and a concurrent fear of the secret being revealed; certainty that no one will listen; being generally secretive___
41. Self-labeling that is a result of feeling marked (Everyone knows I’m no-good,” or, “I’m a slut, dirty, worthless” ____
42. Feeling crazy; feeling different___
43. Believing that everyone’s existence is valid; however, we are a phony___
44. Creating a fantasy world, relationships, or identities___
45. Denial: no awareness at all; repression of memories, pretending, minimizing, having dreams or memories (maybe it’s my imagination)___
46. Strong, deep negative reactions to a person, place, or event, sensory flashes (a light, a place, a physical feeling) without a sense of their meaning­___
47. Being aware of, or remembering the surroundings where abuse occurred, but not the actual event___
48. Flashbacks___
49. Panic Attacks___