Sexual
and/or Relationship Issues Aftereffects
Checklist
After
you check off the items that pertain to
you, go back and create an inventory of
each item. Write about each symptom that
has affected your life.
Pattern
of being a victim, especially
sexually__
No
sense of own power or right to set
limits or say no to sex___
All
pursuit feels like we are being
violated___
Sexualizing
a relationship where or when it
isn’t appropriate to do so___
Erotic
response to abuse or anger___
A
deep-seated, all-encompassing belief
that sex is the solution to all our
problems and the way to get
everything we need___
Our
desire to be involved in a
relationship has a life or death
quality to it; there is no black and
white—we simply “must”
maintain the relationship, no matter
how destructive__
As
a young adult or teen, a pattern of
relationships with much older
persons who exploit our lack of
boundaries.There is a quality of being
“an object” in this
relationship. We are their
“trophy”____
A
need to carry this behavior into
adulthood by being seen as the
“ultimate sex object.”For example, “the perfect
sexually submissive partner with no
demands of his or her own,” the
“trophy wife,” “porn star,”
etc. In other words, we are still in
a persona playing a role based on
our sexuality___
Codependent
behaviors. Instinctively knowing and
doing what the other person needs or
wants; putting others needs first___
A
tendency to pick and attempt to
“rescue” partners who exhibit a
combination of any of the following
characteristics: drug addicts and/or
alcoholics, sex addicts, avoidance
addicts, mentally ill; criminals who
are entrenched in the legal system
and have been for many years of
their adult (or juvenile) lives__
Sex
and love addictions__
Abandonment
issues. Inability to end
inappropriate relationships___
Splitting
off during the sex act. This is also
known as “The Split,” or
disassociation__
Trouble
integrating sexuality and emotions__
Feeling
betrayed by ones own body whenever
real desire is experienced___
Aversion
to being touched, especially in
gynecological exam___
Strong
aversion to particular sex acts___
Avoidance
of sexual experiences___
Crying
after orgasm___
Sexual
fantasies of dominance or rape___
Aversion
to making noise during sex___
Compulsive
need to control the sex act. This
might involve having to watch
hard-core, abusive Porn while
engaging in sex, or the need to
impose fantasy role playing onto the
activity___ Example: pretending to be
a prostitute in order to
“endure” the sex act__
Confusion
or overlapping of affection, sex,
dominance aggression or violence
(S&M and B&D (bondage and
discipline) are typical expressions
of post-sexual abuse syndrome___
Pursuing
power in the sexual arena which is
actually sexual acting out___
Compulsively
“seductive” or compulsively
asexual__
Tendency
to attract sexual addicts into our
lives who exploit and violate our
inability to set sexual boundaries__
Has
to be the sexual aggressor or must
not be the sexual aggressor___
Impersonal
sexual encounters___
Promiscuous
sex with strangers while still
involved in a “committed”
relationship where there is an
inability to be truly intimate___
Conflicts
between sex and caring___
Involvement
in the sex industry in any capacity:
prostitution, stripping, “sex
symbol,” porn actress__
A
tendency to sexually act out to meet
anger or revenge needs___
Sexaholism:
addicted to Lust, or addicted to
making others “lust” after us to
get that jolt, that hit of
excitement___
