Sexual Abuse Survivors In Recovery Anonymous

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Sex and Love Topics

Sexual Abuse Survivors in Recovery Anonymous focuses specifically on the aftereffects of all forms of sexual abuse.

Following are issues which can be used either for personal self-discovery or for meeting topics. 

1. Pattern of being a victim, especially sexually. 
2. We do not believe in our own power and it is difficult, and at times impossible, to believe that we have the right to set limits and say no.
3. A deep-seated, all-encompassing belief that sex is the solution to all our problems and the way to get everything we need
4. The need to be in a relationship has a life or death quality to it; there is no black and white—we simply “must” maintain the relationship, no matter how destructive it is to our core personal integrity. 
5. As a young adult or teen, a pattern of relationships with much older persons who exploit our lack of boundaries.  There is a quality of being “an object” in this relationship.  We are their “trophy.”
6. As an adult, we might also still feel like an object, or as if we are really just playing a role.  Examples might include: sex object, exotic dancer, wife, mistress. Our “role” might be perfectly legitimate and authentic, yet we feel jaded, as if we are performers. 
7. Codependent behaviors. Instinctively knowing and doing what the other person needs or wants; putting others needs first
8. A tendency to pick and attempt to “rescue” partners who are a combination of any of the following characteristics:  drug addicts and/or alcoholics, sex addicts, avoidance addicts, dealing with mental illness issues; habitual criminals who are deeply entrenched in the legal system and have been in various “locked-down” situations for many years of their adult (or juvenile) lives.
9. Sex and love addictions
10. Abandonment issues. Inability to end inappropriate relationships
11. Splitting off during the sex act. This is also known as “The Split,” or disassociation
12. Trouble integrating sexuality and emotions
13. Feeling betrayed by ones own body whenever real desire is experienced
14. Aversion to being touched, especially in gynecological exam
15. Strong aversion to particular sex acts. Strong aversion to either one’s own or partner’s genitals 
16. Compulsive need to control the sex act by such methods as such as having to watch Porn while engaging in sex, or the need to impose fantasy role playing onto the activity. Such as pretending to be a prostitute in order to “endure” the sex act
17. Confusion or overlapping of affection, sex, dominance aggression or violence such as S&M and B&D (bondage and discipline).
18. Pursuing power in the sexual arena which is actually sexual acting out
19. Self Abuse and manipulation (especially among women)
20. Abuse of others (especially among men)
21. Compulsively “seductive” or compulsively asexuality
22. Tendency to attract sexual addicts into our lives who exploit and violate our inability to set sexual boundaries
23. Has to be the sexual aggressor or must not be the sexual aggressor
24. Impersonal sexual encounters
25. Promiscuous sex with strangers while still involved in a “committed” relationship where there is an inability to be truly intimate
26. Conflicts between sex and caring
27. Involvement in the sex industry in any capacity: prostitution, stripping, “sex symbol,” porn actress
28. A tendency to sexually act out to meet anger or revenge needs
29. Sexaholism: addicted to Lust, or addicted to making others “lust” after us to get that jolt, that hit of excitement
30. Avoidance of sexual experiences
31. Crying after orgasm
32. All pursuit feels like we are being violated
33. Sexualizing a relationship where it isn’t appropriate to do so
34. Erotic response to abuse or anger
35. Sexual fantasies of dominance or rape
36. Aversion to making noise during sex